John Crewe and David Colson are probably reading this thread and then curling up into a ball under their desks sobbing uncontrollably.
“It’s such a good idea but we have so much fucking work to do…! Please Reddit, let us sleep!”
…but here’s how I’d do it; make it so that tapping N enables a HOV mode on ships, and holding N lowers landing gear and enters VTOL landing mode. Move auto-land to Alt-N (when gear is down). Now you can tap N, drop your ship to just above the deck without worrying about slamming into the ground, hold N to drop gear and then lower yourself to land, optionally using Alt-N auto-land if you want your ship to line up perfectly on the pad.